Did I screw up too badly??
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My girlfriend and I were on again off again for about 10 months. About 2 weeks ago during a time when we were off again but still hooking up and hanging out a LOT she went out on a second date with a guy she was fixed up with. After that date she called me and told me that if we continued the way we currently were that she may as well get back together with me. I agreed but she said no she had to give this guy a real chance and because of that she wanted to sever ties with me for the "forseeable future". We talked long into the night but eventually said goodbye to each other in tears and I was crushed. For lack of anything better to do (this was my first relationship so I had nothing to go on and no one to turn to for advice) I sent her an e-mail asking her some questions that I hadn't though to ask when we were on the phone. The next morning I IMed her to ask her if she had read it and she answered the questions over IM. Then I asked her if she was still sure she didn't want to speak to me and she said "no I still want to be able to talk to you" I agreed to it again because I had no idea how bad that could be. I realized over the next two weeks that she was getting far to comfortable with me as her "best friend". Twice over the next two weeks I asked her to get back with me and each time her reactions were not good. She always says "Now is not the right time" when I ask when will be the right time she says "I don't know". I asked if that was a nice way of saying never and she said "I won't say never because who knows what can happen..." The worst was this passed wednesday I took her out for lunch and just as I dropped her off back at her house I told her again that I wanted her back. Her answer was "Thank you for lunch" and she got out of the car. She didn't call me again until Friday afternoon (in fact she ignored me until Friday). When we finally spoke Friday she said "I mad the decision not to talk to you as much because obviously you aren't getting over me they way we are".
Here's my plan:
I'm going to NOT call her for a month. During that time I am going to work on myself as a person (physically and mentally). I'm going to date other people (at leats 2 people unless of course i meet somoen who makes me forget all about my ex) and I am going to focus on getting a better job to solidify my financial position. Then after 30 days I am going to see where she is at. If she is single I am going to try and slide back in. Maybe call her and ask her out for a quick coffee and then slowly ease back into dating. DO you think 30 days is enough to clean the slate for the fact that I pushed so much?
Did I screw up too badly?
-- Screw Up :-(
I think your plan is perfect.
You are giving her plenty of time to think things over and for you to work on yourself. She should be impressed by the improvements you will make.
Make a serious effort to do this and don't hesitate. "He who hesitates is lost!"
Hope this turns out well for you! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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