The girl I like goes out and gets drunk

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Ok, this one girl is one of my good friends, we have known eachother since birth. She dated my best friend and thats how we became friends again. Well they broke up and she told me that she had feeelings for me and so did I.

Since it's summer, her and my friend had tried to get back together many times all failing. They broke up again about a week ago and since then we have started talking, again. I really do like her a lot, one night I went to her car before she got off work and left her a pink rose on her windshield of her car and when she got home we talked and everything.

Next morning, I took her little sisters and her some donuts and I stayed there and we talked for a good while. While i was there she started to tell me some stuff. She had said that during that week or two she went to parties with her friend and at one of them she got drunk. Shes not the one to do that and that really makes me worry a whole lot and I dont know what to do.

I really want her to like me as much as I do, but I dont want to worry about what she is doing with her friend. Please help. thanks a lot. Advice
Your most important role right now is to be her best friend and to be there for her. It sounds like she's still hurt about the breakups and such. Rebounds take a while to get through. So don't pressure her, just be there, talk to her, listen to her.

It is really critical for her to learn that getting drunk isn't "cool" - it can be incredibly dangerous. There's a reason that adults don't go out and get drunk, and it's not because we can't afford it. It's because it sucks to have a hangover, and what would the point be? We can have great fun without being out of control.

The more you help her trust herself, believe in herself and be happy with her surroundings, the less she'll want to lose control and forget about her world. But it really has to come from within her, the contentment with what she has.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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