confused & stressed

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
okay so here it is.
about one year into my relationship i came home from work and found him doing something id rather not see. i flipped out told him how i felt and it was over after that day. now my whole family told me that you will never fight about the same exact thing twice, you'll say the same thing but never fight about the same thing. well a few weeks later i come home from work again and i find it again. of course i got upset but obviously im still with him so i got over it. but ever since he lied twice about the same exact thing i cant help but to think what else can he possibly lie about. when he goes out, where is he really going? or when i see him looking at other girls and then i confront him about it, he says he wasnt. but you see im jelous and i dont want to be. i shouldnt have to be. this is making my self esteem hit the floor,when i look in the mirror i feel like i should look like all those other girls, like i need to change myself to make him look at me more...
please help me. i dont know what to do. i must be crazy.
i dont want to loose him over this stupid hole im in. Advice
As far as looking at other women-- ask yourself whether you have never looked at other guys? Of course you do it more slyly...girls are taught to take a peek rather than stare (although some stare and that's ok too.) Guys don't look at other girls and compare them to their GFs or wives. They just look (and sometimes think WOW!) That's the way guys have been brought up.

Just don't take it personally... that is rather egotistical. Why should your BF be any different than any other guy? If you force him to lie to you it just makes things worse. Now if you don't buy this and really want to get down and dirty, wait until the next time you catch him checking out another woman. Then wait until the next half-way decent guy comes along and whisper to your BF "Wow, he's cute...wonder what he's like in bed?" If your boyfriend has a good sense of humor he will burst out laughing. If he gets mad then you laugh and explain it to him.

As far as catching him doing something... ALL guys do that so forget it.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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