What do I do???
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
I've met the greatest girl in the world at school and i really think that she is the one for me. we talk alot on the phone, in person and online and i've been sending her these indirect nudges about my feelings for quite a while. Problem is, she just told me that she got together with another guy and that she is in love with him. So i tried telling her directly about my feelings and she simply answered that she knew for a long time but that it doesnt change anything and we can still be friends. Now any guy would tell you that its the worst place to be, but the thing is i really am in love with this girl but she doesn't feel the same way and whenever i try telling her about my feelings she gets mad and keeps telling me how hard it is for her and that if i act like this then maybe we are not cut out to be friends anymore. So i've decided to keep my feelings hidden for the time being. be someone im not as expressing myself only further aggravates our friendship (which is only 3 months long) im in hell and i REAALLY could use some advice............ how can i get her to love me?? should i tell her about my feelings? or should i remain idle for the time being? please, somebody save me.
ps: she's the only one i've ever truly LOVED, and i feel like i've been cheated by fate here.
You ask how can you get her to love you.
That is a question for the ages. If it could be answered there would be a lot more happy people.
But, if you got her to love you then what about her boyfriend that she loves?
Your best bet is to be realistic. Since you are a good friend of hers you are on track one to be her next in line. Take advantage of where you are to be the best friend you can be. Maybe she will fall out of love with him and then look to you because you have been so good.
Definitely don't talk about your feelings for her. It will only make her feel pushed and drive your friendship apart. Keep yourself in good shape physically (including grooming, dress, hygiene), intellectually (read a book, watch something educational on cable, practice a language with her), and socially (volunteer for something, join a team or club, go to concerts.)
Also be sure to communicate well with her by telling her important things that happened and ask her what's going on in her life; share feelings which will bring you closer together; and, show affection by smiling, laughing, complimenting, hugging, touching, etc.)
These actions will draw her to you and help her to like you more. That is the first step in getting her to love you.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com