should i be worried and should i ask her not to go next time?

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
My girlfriend and i have seemed to have a very good realtionship recently reaching 2 moths from a long distance standpoint because we live around 3 hours away from each othere when we are not at school. I have gone to see her once and she has also come to see me once. I felt like our relationship was strenghthened when we saw each other and made it continue to go well. Recently this past weekend she went to visit a past man in her life that she had seemed to like a lot and had sex with the last summer. When i tried to ask her out the first time she hesitated to start a relationship with me because she had met him last summer. She eventually agreed when we spent more time together and grew closer to each other. She went and "visited him" this past weekend to hang out and get away from her family for a while. She told me that she was only going to stay for one night but ended up staying for two and hardly talked to me on the phone at all while she was there. When she first told me that she was going to go and visit him i tried not to sound concerned and tried to be supportive because she wanted to get away and have a little vacation par say, but i was really very worried because of the details she had told me about him before we started dating. She also told me that she had cheated on her last boyfriend with him because they were practically going to break up anyway. When she was there and the little amount of time she talked to me on the phone, she seemed uneasy and kind of nervous to talk to me.... this just making me more worried. Now I talked to her today and she told me that she was upset with her friends because they asked her if she had "done" anything with her past man while she was there but she acted annoyed and wondered why her friends would think she would do anything with him since she has a boyfriend. Her friends told her that they know better and that shes very flirty and they were expecting her to do something with him. After that she mentioned how she was hoping to maybe go back again next week because she had so much fun, Then she told me how she was hoping to have a little party and possibly drink some alcohol next time she went. This would be a really bad idea in my opinion because she gets quite touchy feely when she drinks. She also said something about having him over with some other people for a little party with drinking at her house when her parents are gone this coming weekend. I mentioned possibly coming for it and she kind of made it sound like she didn't want me to really come. I said i had to work and then i would try to come and she replied well you'll probably be tired and shouldn't come if your gonna be like that. This is just concerning way too much and driving me crazy.... i feel that i should really be concerned about this but don't know if i'm just being overly jealous or not.l PLEASE HELP i dont know what to do. Thanks sooo much. Advice
You need to look deep into your heart and decide what you feel for her.

Do you love her and trust her? If you do, then you don't need to worry. If you have doubts then you will worry.

Discuss these feelings with her and come to an understanding. If she cares for you she will respect your feelings and try to accomodate you.

Anything less than that then your relationship is in trouble. Try to work it out with her gently and lovingly. She will appreciate it.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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