Beyond Confused.

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Hey how are you? Okay, little over a month ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. He claimed he was feeling insecure about himself and just didn't want a girlfriend. But I knew deep down he did it because of me, I was having a falling out with myself, and took it out on him. Believe me, I learned quickly my lesson. So I took advantage of our time apart, hoping maybe I'll mature a little more and he can have his space, well now that I have matured, and I have made a complete 360 in life, I realize I am missing something... him. For about 3 weeks we had NO contact whats so ever, and it happened to have been my birthday and he gave me a call, saying he would like to wish me a happy birthday, and he would like to see me sometime, and I sounded good. I tried to stay positive. So I think it was at the end of that week, I was at my work, just hanging out, and I freaked out for some reason, and I texted him, and he came down, cos he lives 2 seconds away, and the moment I had seen him, I cried, and I freaked out, I apologized ofr all I have done, convinced him I changed, and that it would honestly kill me,to ese or hear him being with anyone else. He said that he didnt want to hear or see me with anyone else either. He also said to me that he dreaded coming to see me but he was really glad I did, and told me to stop crying because he did not want me to ruin my pretty face. He also gave me the line of " whats meant to be will" He also said he still cares for me, and thinks about me all the time, and the fact that we are stillt alking means I stil lhave a chance, when he dropped me off at my house, he hugged me which felt like an eternity, and he almost kissed me but pulled away, and just looked at me I asked himwhat he was looking at he said " nothing" I said what he said " just taking all the beauty in" I thought maybe I Had hope, and so I continued to give him his space, and I texted him one night if he wanted to go to hacadam (its a field we always went to to hang out) and said he was in old forge cos he works up there, but he replied using a name he called me when we were dating. So I was getting really fed up with it, and he left him a poem, no response, and he hasn't given me much of a response, so this past monday I texted him a really heart felt poem, and he did not answer, I figured he must be sleeping, if hes working in old forge the next day. So I was bored hanging otu with my friend, and I got upset, and wrote him a very good letter, telling him I feel hes taking all this for granted because he said he didn't wnat me to hurt during this but I am cos its my fault we are not to gether, and I told him, that my friends tell me to move on, and get over it, but I said in the letter that would be like people telling him to get over his brother ( who passed away in december) and move on, its not gonna happen, and that I refuse to let go because unlike his ex girlfriends I know what I am losing. I also told him how he is acting now, as opposed to from teh time I met him til we broke up are 2 different people and I didn't think he could be so cold. The day after I dropped taht letter off, the following morning, my friend texted me and said he went through Drive Thru ( me and my friend both work at mcdonalds), if he really does not want ot see me why would he keep coming to my work, and why would he keep avoiding me if he still has feelings? Why does it feel like hes not using his time away from me to benefit himself? he is doing all the same things now that he was doing when we were together, I know for a fact there is no one else, so why is he doing this? I feel he may be to scared to get with me.. coshe told me I wsas the best girl, and a good girl. I'm serioulsy have been driven insane by this. Can you please tell me what to do, I wont take " give up" as an answer.
Thank you very much, in advance. Advice
Sounds like he doesn't feel comfortable answering written messages.

But, he did want to see you again. So take him up on his offer and ask him out for dinner just to see how each other are doing.

If he isn't ready for that, ask if he would be willing to just drive around and chat... or take a ride to a lake or park and hang out.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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