Why the cold shoulder? *UPDATE*
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Dear RomanceClass,
This is a sort of update of my previous question, "Why the cold shoulder?". It is involving the same guy, "Mark".
**************************Previous Question********
In about October, a guy I have known for 5 years (We'll call him "Mark") asked me out. I had no idea that he was interested in me, but he went to Italy for two weeks and returned with a beautiful necklace, a love confession, and a request to be his girlfriend. At the time I had a large interest in someone else (Let's call him "Sean"). I was also attracted to Mark, though, so I said yes.
Two days later I began to feel guilty- I was more in love with Sean than my own boyfriend! I talked to Mark and let him know that it wouldn't work. I didn't want to hurt him when he found out that I loved Sean.
I have since discovered that Sean and I don't work- at all. He's not the person I thought he was initially, but Mark has been ever wonderful. Ever since late April I have been thinking about Mark more and more- and not just the "rebound" type thing (Sean and I never officially dated anyway.)
The downside is that Mark isn't the same as he once was. I have a theory, though. I believe that perhaps Mark feels like his ego was bruised when I broke up with him, although I let him down gently. I'm guessing that this is why he seems so resentful of me- he's upset that I broke up with him so long ago, even though it was the right thing to do at the time. I regret losing him, and want him back. How do I ask for his forgiveness regarding my stupid choices? Is there any way I can ask for a second chance without seeming "needy" or freaking him out?
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Since asking my question, we had a talk as to why he seemed to be so cold towards me. His answer was honest, although perhaps not a very good excuse- it was understandable. Since we broke up before he has started hanging out with "Sean's" group of friends. And as I am not all that popular with him, Mark simply felt pressured to treat me the same way. After he admitted that he simply did not want to lose his friends, he started being more friendly to me, and we flirt a lot. Our school year just ended and it is likely that we won't see eachother until September, when we will be going to the same highschool. Many of my friends, and quite a few mutual friends claim that he likes me, because they "heard him talking about me to so-and-so", and also that we would make a perfect couple- again... I've been told that we flirt a ton, and a lot of people are under the impression that we ARE dating. People say we must be blind if we really can't see it.
But I am worried. I want to make a move come the new year, but I am nervous about rejection. Without his elementary-school friends in the picture, we should get along just fine without any pretending *rolls eyes*, but I don't want to make a fool of myself. Could him liking me really be possible?
RomanceClass.com Advice
It appears that he likes you and you shouldn't wait until September.
Ask him out for a walk, a picnic, a movie, bowling, or just hanging out.
My guess is that he will be delighted to do something... the summer can get boring sometimes.
Good luck! George -- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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