can wounds heal?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My ex graduated from college in Dec and broke up with her boyfriend in February... yet we still decided to try being together. One month of very intellectual connection we kissed for the first time, and within the week we were having sex. Our connection was very visceral by my appraisal, the level of trust and connection was very genuine. About another month later she began traveling, when I picked her up from the airport her demeanor had changed a bit. That night she told me she needed some space to do things, understandable with the graduation/breakup. I tried to understand my role, but she had no answers... that was why she needed time. I tried to play it cool, but even occasional questions seemed too much... which made me nervous and that cycle continued until we broke up.
She feels as if I misunderstood her need for self time, I only failed to understand her treatment of me. I was at times defensive, never mean... but edgy. I had never been dumped, I was relieved of the stress that had built up between us... then I realized how much I missed our talks/hugs. I want to give her space to grow and time to do what she needs (even if that includes seeing other people), since getting back together now would be meaningless. She is a prideful person and I fear she could close her heart to me, it is a dangerous chance... is there any tips that can bolster my chances or is going back impossible. We dated for such a short period, I feel as if she dumped the stressful situation more than anything... yet I may have ruled myself out.
Apologies if that is too long, but that is the shortest I can write out my feelings. Thank you for any help/words you can offer me.
Your questions was not at all too long.
My answer is probably not going to be of much use to you since this situation appears to require a great deal of finesse which can only be effected by closeness to the parties involved.
What struck me was her reaction upon returning from a trip. It seems as if she might have had a brief encounter and felt guilt upon her return.
Don't give up hope on this if you have strong feelings for her. Maintain a communicative, compassionate, and affectionate relationship with her as much as you can given the circumstances.
Make sure she knows how much you care for her. BTW your question yeilds very little on the depth of your feelings and perhaps she is picking up on that.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com