Inconsistent actions
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My girlfriend and I have been dating for a few months.Im 22, shes 21 and is away at school. We didnt start talkin until early this year.After a few months of daily phone calls and a few great visits, we decided to take it to the next level. She's in a sorority and loves her time with her friends, and both of our last relationships ended with others cheating on us.She would call nearly 2-3 times a day while at school and I loved it, but now that shes home, its different.There will be days where she cant wait to see me, and then there are days where i feel like she cant be bothered.When we are together shes tells me how happy she is, but there are times when i seriously doubt it.Her birthday is next week and we planned on going out to a local lounge with her friends, yesterday she asked me if i would mind letting her go with just her friends, and that her and I would have a less "party" type celebration another day.Im trying not to let my past relationship dictate the way i look at her actions but i cant help but feel angry and completely jealous, but then i feel ridiculously stupid that i fixate on these issues, because when we are together I can see how much she likes me. Ive asked her about it, and she says that im overreacting, I wasnt around during her last relationship so i have no idea if this is the way she is, or if its something about me that makes her feelings seem so inconsistent.Its killing me, and Im trying to figure it out because i want to protect myself from getting hurt again.
RomanceClass.com Advice
Trust is one of the most important elements of a relationship.
You seem to have a reasonable amount of trust in your GF and that is good.
You need to fight against the jealousy by literally telling it to go away and stop bothering you. Eventually is will give up its fight to control you.
You can read more about trust at this webpage:
http://www.coping.org/growth/trust.htm
Good luck! George -- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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