Is Travel Getting in the Way?
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Alright, here's the deal: I met this guy who lives on my floor this semester when we found out that we're both in the same class (along with my neighbors--both guys--and my friend--a girl). He seems really shy and doesn't talk much, but the group of us started working on homework together and going to the reviews, etc... As I started hanging out with him more, I started developing feelings for him, and it soon got to this point where I really like him. BUT... I'm studying abroad next YEAR (for the WHOLE academic year). He didn't know this at first, and on the way to class one day, we ran into each other and walked to class. I really enjoyed talking to him. The next time, I wrote him a note on his door asking if he wanted to walk to class. He had already left by this point and didn't get the message 'till after class, but the next day of class, I was in my room getting ready to leave and he showed up at my door and asked if I wanted to walk with him! Now he comes to get me at my room every tuesday and thursday and we walk to class and sit together. We talk a lot on our walks. He asks me questions like where I'm from, and told me a little about himself, and we really seem to be getting along really great! I even went to a party with him one weekend and we talked all night and I hugged him and was obviously flirting with him. He has got to be blind if he doesn't realize I like him, and I have given him many opportunities to ask me out (I'd ask him out first, but I figure if he likes me, then he'll take the hint and ask me). He mentioned his Rugby games, and I said I'd never seen one and would like to. He said he'd let me know when he was playing here (he hasn't really told me. I had to ask him when I caught word elsewhere that they were playing here), and when I told him I had never seen The Wall (he LOVES Pink Floyd and owns that video), he told me I'll have to see it some time. "Yeah, so let me know when you want to see it," I said. "Just ask me," he told me. "No, you ask me." I told him. He has yet to ask me. Yeah, I should say something, but if he likes me, wouldn't he say, "Hey, I'm free this weekend if you want to come over some time and watch The Wall?" or SOMETHING? Also, when I told him I would be gone all next year, he kinda just nodded and went along with it. But when I had dinner with him one night (my friend made it a point to invite him to dinner with us before a review session), after a pause in the conversation, he said, "So you're not going to be on campus at all next year?"
I think he likes me. We talk to each other a lot, he waves and says hi whenever he sees me. He looks into my eyes when he talks to me, and he even holds doors for me. But why hasn't he made any sort of move? I asked him about a Rugby game finally and told him I'd be there. He seemed happy about that. But he didn't tell me on his own, even after he said he would.
Now, my question is (sorry for the long prelude!)... I'm thinking that maybe he does like me but he doesn't want to get involved with someone who he's not going to see for a year. Do you think this a correct line of thinking? If so, what do I do? Even if we aren't "official" while I'm away, I at least want to see him over the summer and keep in touch with him while I'm away and hopefully something will come of this when I return... But what should I do? If you don't think he likes me, then obviously I'll try to drop it and have fun overseas. But if he likes me like I think he does, should I say something to him before we leave for summer vacation? If so, what? How? I'm confused. Please help! :(
This is a perfect topic for several walks to class.
Tell him it is obvious that you both like each other and are wondering what the implications will be of your absence. Tell him you would like to do what you mentioned above and ask how he feels about it.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com