Mr. Right has a son who I don't like

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
My guy and I have been best friends for 16 years. He just got out of a divorce and we've been dating for 3 months. We are super happy but I don't like and feel resentful of his son. His son is 3 yrs old. I am not an evil person. I understand how evil it sounds to bad mouth a toddler. I am a kind and good person.

His son is a bad kid because his dad and mom are lazy parents. His kid only knows 3 words, hasn't even started potty training, has no manners, and is just a spoiled horrible kid. I love my guy but can't stand his kid. His kid hates everyone but mom and dad. I wish I could sit with the little guy and teach him some language skills but he just hits and screams at me.

My guy feeds his son like crap. I will cook good meals for his kid but I have to place the plate of food down and slowly back out of the room before the kid will even touch it. The kid screams and cries all day long over nothing. Iím constantly reassuring his son by telling him how much Daddy loves him (but mind you I have to tell him this from across the room and over the sound of his screaming because his son doesnít want me in the same room as him) and I try not to hug or kiss my guy in front of his son. My guy wants me to spend the night but his son has never slept in his own bed so Iíd be in bed with him and his toddler.

There is nothing wrong with his son, his son is just BAD! It's driving me mad. I don't want to stop dating my guy. I love him and he loves me very much. What to do? Advice
I don't think you are mean, you are just telling it like it is, and it isn't pretty.

You have tried to improve things but the sad fact is that the boy has been mistreated by his parents and he is acting out without knowing better. By mistreating I mean that the parents have not taught the boy what he needs to know to make a good life for himself. What will happen when school rolls around? Somethiing is wrong with a kid who has such a very poor vocabulary and self control. He probably blames you for the divorce and that's why he hates you.

My advice is to tell your BF that you will give it three more months to see if the kid can be turned around. At the same time, demand that the kid be seen by a child psychologist.

You are putting a lot of effort into what could be a losing cause. Be prepared for this to fall apart if the time and counselling do no good. You might also wonder if "Mr Right" is so right if he has allowed this situation to develop.

Good luck! George
p.s. there is nothing wrong with you. You at least are trying.

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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