Making Progress Part 4Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
Heya George :)
Here we go again.
I have made another step towards trying to be acknowledged.
Tonite will be my second small group meeting at my church for a Marriage Commitment Class entitled Love&Respect. Last wednesday was the first class of course. I sat with 8 couples trying to improve their marriages, and the class was led by another couple who are members of the church. It was kind of strange being the only single person there.
I was getting some funny looks bcuz I was there alone, lol.
There were people who were'nt married, people who havent been married long and those who have been married for a long time. It's nice to see that people love eachother taking this course to strengthen their connection or even repair it. I also find some comfort knowing that I am not taking the easy road and trying to start a new relationship with someone else.
Sign of progress #1 ?
Several days ago my ex called me and was frustrated about a certain matter and talked to me about it for 40 minutes.
She hasnt done this in a long time. I did some reflective listening and I thought that was a good sign.
Sign of progress #2?
Today is my ex's B-day. On Monday I sent her a B-day Card in the mail which included two scratch offs. (she loves those) She recieved it yesterday and called me and sounded excited. She said " these scatch-offs are my 2 favorite TV shows!" (AmericanIdol&DealorNoDeal). Of course I choose wisely bcuz I know what she likes :). And of course I called her this morning and wished her a Happy Birthday.
Reason to Panic?
Her brother has a friend that is going thru a divorce, and she is also friends with him. She mentions this guys name often >(. A while back I sincerly said " hey, it sounds like a possible connection there". She laughed and wrote it off saying that he is like a brother to her. But even today she mentioned his name and how he sent her a Birthday cake to her work etc.( I responded, That was nice ) It's obvious that he is in her head! Does she mention his name to make me jealous or let me know she has someone else in mind?
She doesnt know I take this Love&Respect class or that I even bought 2 books that go along with the class. I want her to know but dont want to come off aggresive. I feel it's better is she finds out on her own. Then we talk about it.
I dont wanna cut and run bcuz she is worth the effort.
But when do I say enough is enough for my own sake?
Thanks again George, much appreciated :)
P.S. I highly recommend the book " Love and Respect"
Congratulations on your progress with her.
Too bad she mentions this other guy's name so often. It's difficult to determine why she is doing that... other than small talk.
Unless you think she will quickly find out about the course you are taking at the church, you might drop a subtle hint about it. She will, of course, want to know why you are attending, so you will need to decide whether you will tell her that she has a role in your decisions or not.
Be sure you feel comfortable saying that you are serious in your actions and that you are doing them for your own good as well as for her. "Enough is enough" is a phrase that sounds like you are not sincere in the course you are taking. Think about it.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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