im coming to you again

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
i have come to you before and im coming again. to give you a background...i have known this girl for 14yrs. we met on vaction and even when my family didnt go i found myself going to see her. two years ago i final made my move. we have been see each other since, but in november 2006..things hit the wall. she went off to a new school and things got wierd. she started to act very distant. we fought alot and didnt see each other at all. january 07 we got into a big fight and broke up. we didnt speak for 3 wks then she told me she made a big mistake. i told her to come visit if she wanted to fix this. she never made an effort to come. a few mths went by and i said i couldnt do this anymore. she then waited a few wks and confronted me. she asked what went wrong. i told her it was bc she didnt try to make it work. that was a mth ago. a wk ago she talked to me after not talking to me for 4wks. two days later i invited her to come visit and she came. that night she kissed me and told me she still loved me and is ready to make and effort. her bestfriend told me that she was scared bc she knew we were ging to get engaged and married. and when we talked about it it freaked her out. now she is trying but i still feel this is a tender situation. i want her back to where she was but im afraid to scare her off again. what is my next move. what do i do. i want to spend the rest of my life with her and her the same but dont want to scare her. i want her to come lives with me, but she is 3 hrs away and scared to make the move. she work be able to go to school, have a job, and be closer to her friends...but i dont know how to get her close. please help me Advice
Stop trying to convince her to move.

That is probably scary to her. She understands that this is an option and if she wants to do it, she will move.

Meanwhile, treat her gently and consistently. There seem to be too many breaks in your communications coming from both sides.

Have you considered moving to where she is?

Communicate, share your feelings, and be affectionate. A good relationship should follow.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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