Why girlfriend keeps ending it?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My girlfriend of a year and 3 months has just broken up with me. She says that i'm not the person she met and that something is missing. This is the second time she has broken up with me. She broke up with me just before Christmas as we started having pety arguments. We started off as friends as we both were attracted to each other but she had a boyfriend who treated her very badly. She was in the process of ending it with him and was getting to know me. After a few months of getting to know each other we got together. Everything was excellent for the first 8-9 months and I knew instantly that I had found the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. She said the same thing to me. We always talked about the future and marriage with kids. We both have told our parents but we are of different religions and I am having problems with my family getting them to accept who I want to spend the rest of my life with.
The last few months have been full of little arguments and at every instance she wants to end it and I don't get why. I'm then always fighting to stop her ending it and we don't actually talk about the problem at hand and move on from that. In fact all the arguments we've had are unsolved. After Christmas she said she missed me and we decided to talk and got back together. We got back together for 3 weeks before she ended it again because of a mis sent text. I went on holiday and gave her 2 weeks space and I told her to think about all the issues we had and haven't resolved and we would talk when I returned. She agreed and when I returned she wouldn't answer my calls or texts. She then replied saying that her feelings hadn't changed and she was still very angry and upset with me. I desparately want her back and show her that I am the person she first met and fell in love with and to show her that we can everything that we first had and more if we sit down and talk about our problems and move on. She has said that she wants to be alone and wants us to be friends. Why will she not talk openly to me? We have never had this kind of love with anyone ever before and we will not with anyone ever again. We are destined to be together and are perfect for each other.
I just want to sit down with her and talk through our problems and understand what it is that I have done wrong and resolve those things.
Can you please help me get her back?
It seems she has lost that loving feeling.
Talking it over with her would make no difference because even though she knows you are right in the details, in the overall picture you and she have a mismatch.
This is not to say that you should give up, she has come back to you in the past and may come back again. But my hunch is that it is over this time. Her attitude is very cold and even rude. She owes you more of an explanation but, as I said, she has a different big picture than you do.
This advice is mixed, because I don't want to suggest it's over if there is any chance that you could make a go of it again.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com