How do I convince her to try us again and work things out? I want her back
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
(sorry if this is sent to you twice, my internet freaked out! READ/ANSWER THIS ONE THOUGH BECAUSE THE OTHER ONE WASNT COMPLETE)
So I really have tried everything with her, tried to end contact for a short while, wrote a love letter, apologized, tried to hang out with her, ect...nothing has seemed to work. We were together for a year and 2 months and it seems that she will not give me a chance. I still dont know why she ended the relationship, all she said was that she had doubts and that something just wasnt right between us. We have been broken up for 4 months now.
~~I know you get alot of these things but if you want to read the whole back story, its a question I asked you with the question title "My gf of 14 months broke up with me, I want to get her back"~~
2 weeks ago we started to talk a little bit, once or twice a week (nothing heavy, just friendly) and I hung out with her a couple of times with friends, one night she texted me asking me how I was with us and I just acted like I wasnt sure with what she was asking. I asked her what she was asking and she said that she wasnt sure but that she just wanted to know how I was, i was thinking of how to answer her and right before I could she said goodnight and went to bed...I saw her a church a few days later and she acted just a little bit different than before with me... Later that week I saw her because I asked her if she wanted to help me buy a birthday present for my mom, she was all up for it, we small talked in the store but for some reason it felt ackward to me between us, later on I texted her asking her how she was with us (just like what she asked me that one night before) she said good, I asked is that overall or about us and she said both, that she is happy that we can be friends... I texted her saying that I still have feelings for her, she said that’s good that your being honest but that she didn’t know how to answer to that, I just told her that I wasn’t saying that to get an answer from you, I just wanted you to know, that was on a Friday.
We didn’t text or talk Saturday and I saw her at church on Sunday and we didn’t even talk then, she was standing with her friends talking about lunch and I left to go to lunch with my parents, she texted me later saying that I could of came along…Later that day I get a phone call from my best friend saying that he saw her at his work (works at a restaurant) and he talked with her a little and apparently she likes some guy and they talked about him for a short while, obviously I am crushed and angry… I texted her saying that I hear that you found a new guy, I hope your happy…I left it at that. She wrote back and had me explain what was going on , I told her my friend told me and she said that I shouldn’t jump to too many conclusions off of what my friend says, I told her then to tell me the truth and she said that she likes him…to sum up the conversation, I asked her to give me another chance, that I still love her and that I think that I am good for her and not this new guy, to give me a benefit of a doubt and she turned me down and said that its not going to happen…she said that she doesn’t think that we are right for each other (based off assumptions of me that I know are wrong). Anyways she got frustrated at me over this and also because I texted her friend (who she was standing next to I guess) and she said if I had to say anything or ask anything that I should go through her.. The next day I emailed an apology for getting upset and explained myself, she texted me saying thank you later that night… She left the next day for Hawaii for a week and she has been back for 4 days now, I have made no attempt at contacting her and she hasnt contacted me..I made a bulletin posting on a popular site about my relationship with God and such and she messaged me saying "so true" and thats it, I didnt reply since I am unsure at what I should do.
So here I am now, I don’t know what to do again, what can I do to get her to give me a chance? What can I do to get her to feel something towards me again? I am not trying to ask her to be romantic with me again, just to try and see what develops between us (I have already said something along those lines and that didn’t work). I truly love this girl and I know that she loved me. we talked about marriage and stuff so I know we were in a very serious relationship. I’m not sure of what I should do at all! Whether cut off contact and let her contact me, continue to try with writing or calling her every so often, to continue at trying to hang out with her and be friends with her…no idea!. Any advice will be appreciated. Thanks
Thanks for writing again, your first note had some gaps in it.
However, the overall picture hasn't changed and my previous answer (with some obvious differences) basically stays the same.
Make yourself more attractive to her and continue to be her friend.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com