Some direction would be nice...
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
On the surface, I could be labled as "Miss Independent." A relationship is not top priority for me. I live in my own little world. However, one particular boy has interfered with my little world and has turned it upside down.
It first began as a casual acquaintance, and by interacting with him, I grew increasingly annoyed with him. Then I gradually realized that this person was affecting me entirely too much. He could make me drunk with happiness, he could make me seer with rage, he could make me care, and he could make me weak. At that point I realized that I had developed feelings for him. For half a year I tried to convince myself that what I felt was pure teen infatuation and nothing more. I had this unwarranted feeling of being violated. that he somehow took advantage of me by causing me to feel this way, and so I acted indifferent towards him, sometimes bitchy, but as a friend in general.
It's been a year and I still harbor feelings for him. For a period of time I could treated him objectively as a friend. Plus he thought that I was a freaky person, that I had a very random personality, that i was silly, and probably annoying too. I thought these would be sufficient lines of defences-- me keeping resisting him and he uninterested in getting close to me. Somehow, he found his way past the atmosphere of my world.
Recently, I've found that I am unable to get him off my mind. There are days where I can't get up because i'm thinking about him. There are moments where thinking about him puts me into a state of melancholy because i don't know how to deal with him. It'd be easier if I hated him, but his actions don't grant me that. He is so adorable and by no means perfect, which is perfect to me. However, the signs that he likes me can be contradicted.
On one hand:
1. He likes to joke around with me
2. He likes to help me and teach me stuff
3. He protects and defends me when others are being mean
4. He used to say hi to me in the halls and catch me off guard --not so much recently
5. I've noticed that he's touching me more (high fives, hand shakes, pats on the back to comfort me, knees touching, his elbow lingering on my knee (4 times in a row like i don't notice) and placing his hand on my shoulder to tell me to stay when I have no intention of getting up...)
6. He tries to make me smile (sometimes he fails to do so, but the fact that he tried makes me smile inwardly)
7. He told me once, in a fit of laughter, that he loves me
8. I catch him looking at me from the corner of my eye
9. on a few occasions, i catch him staring at my cleavage
10.Quite frequently, he'll wait for me to pack up so that we can walk to our second period classes.
On the other hand
1. he's open about being in love with my one friend, and i get intimidated when he's paying attention to her.
2. he can be a jerk to me
3. he tells me that he finds me annoying/strange
4. some days he acts like i don't exist
5. one time he - out of the blue- said "can you do me a favor? you're probably going to be around my dad this weekend. can you not creep him out?"
6. he's usually open about who he's interested in...he's never mentioned that he likes me.
I'm so confused as to where i stand with him. Does he like me, or are his actions out of kindness and friendship? Some days i'll be utterly gaga over him, other days i'll be devastated by him.
He's a puppy. His bark is worse than his bite. He says he wants people to think he's a jackass, but really he's a nice guy. He is the most loving and caring person, but you won't see that until you get past the mediocre disguise he dons. He's incredibly smart and a bit inexperienced. he's never been too lucky with girls, and i don't require experience. he completes me.
So my questions are:
1. Does he seem to like me?
2. How can I act around him to encourage him to ask me out?
It seems that he likes you quite a bit.
His contrary behavior is probably a result of his not being sure how you feel about him.
You should make sure that he knows you like him. Touch him, that is a sure sign of liking. Smile at him a lot. Ask him if he wants to hang out or if you are brave, ask him to go out with you.
You've spent a year dawdling around, it's time for you to take action.
I think you will be happy you did.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com