My boyfriend vs the guy I've liked my whole life

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
i like this guy that i have known my whole life but i have a boyfriend and i like him too. well i have asked my closest friends and family and they all said the same thing, "well which one do you like more!!!"

The truth is that i like them both the same amount.....well almost. well i would dump my boyfriend 4 the other guy but i love him and i have been waiting almost my whole life for this guy to ask me out and right when he does i am taken

What do i do? Advice
Any time you can even consider dumping a guy because "something better has come along", you really have to take a step back and look at your commitment level. In life, there will ALWAYS be something better that comes along. So if you and your partner in life have such a shallow concern for each other that you are willing to drop each other on a whim, what sort of a relationship is that? What sort of trust do you have in each other? Would you worry, every time you see each other, that you might never see them again because they might meet someone cuter, funnier, smarter, sexier, richer as they walk down the road and just drop you?

Life is about commitment, and a relationship is about you two saying to each other "we will make this work out". Either it works out or doesn't because of YOU TWO and how you relate to each other. The very moment you start to allow *other guys* to interfere in your relationship, you have cheated on your guy. You have said, "I am no longer putting you and our relationship first. I am now quite willing to consider other guys *while I am with you* and only tell you after the fact."

Either you are with your boyfriend, love and cherish and respect him, or you are not. If you want to start thinking about this other guy, then fine, break up with your boyfriend. And then decide truly which of the two you wish to date. But if you are DATING one guy, then you should NOT be toying with another guy. Period. Either you have a boyfriend you care about, or you don't. If you don't, then why are you with him? If you do, then why aren't you working on your relationship with him, instead of running around with another guy?

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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