Fantasy or romance?
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
This is from the person who had asked for advice before about if my drum teacher likes me, except my current situation is more complicated than that. I think he actually used to like me before, because he used to be flirty with me and would do things like get me onto the drumline as the only freshman and take a picture of me playing the drumset for a concert and surprisingly show up backstage at one of my band concerts. But the moment I decide to take a chance and tell him why I always so shy around him and hint at my feelings for him, he happens to already have an older girlfriend that goes to the college that he's going off to next year. The fact of the matter is this guy is the only one I've ever wanted to become something more with, and I've wished that I could have that chance to be his girlfriend. I've actually thought we have that potential to become something more, I mean he has a lot of the traits of my ideal boyfriend, and when I think about our personalities I think he could possibly like me once he gets to know the me outside of our drum lessons. But now I've realized that all this time when I thought I was in love with him, I was only infatuated with him. I was only in love with being in love with him, that I was in love with the fantasy and imagining that I'm some character in a movie that's had an unreturned love life before but in the end it all works out. I realize nothing's been happening, that I haven't moved along because I've been so absorbed with the fantasy instead of the reality of the situation. I know the only way anything can happen is by living in real-life romance instead of my mind's fantasies, but it's hard. Part of me knows and wants to be able to show him the real me before he graduates from our high school and goes off to college, but when I come face-to-face another part of me holds me back. I know I should come back to Earth and live in it, but part of me can't let go of the fantasy. It's hard, I don't know what to do right now.
There is nothing wrong with a little fantasy in our lives.
But don't let it get in the way of real-life adventures which are out there waiting for you. Real-life is more fun that fantasy when you come right down to it.
Whenever you are in your fantasy world, you know it isn't real, and that makes it less enjoyable. Real emotions come from real experiences.
You can make your fantasy guy real by interacting with him as a real person and tell him the real truth. The results probably won't be the greatest, but at least they will be real.
Better yet, find other boys and see what it is like to be with them. You will be surprised at how much fun it can be.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com