Late Night Secrecy

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Hi, I really do not know what I am doing anymore in my relationship of two and a half years and I wish I could regain a grasp of it. As of the last month my girlfriend has been talking to a friend on the phone almost every night for incriments of three hours at a time and being up until 3 a.m. in the morning. Not only this, she tries to keep it from me and has lied to me three times already about the whole situation. It gets even better. Now she is hanging out with him at 1 in the morning and spending hours with him in person. She claims there is nothing going on, but how do I know. If she has to resort to lying and being sneaky behind my back then I get real worried. Whenever I confront her about it she says that I am ridiculous and have no point to be worried. Is she correct? I mean, this kid used to be my friend but now I feel like I cannot respect him or trust him. Please Help! Thanks! Advice
In my opinion, you do have reason to worry.

It isn't normal for a boy and girl to spend hours on the phone most every night up to 3 AM, and then meet at 1 AM in person.

Even if nothing is going on now, which is possible, it is doubtful that they can continue on communicating so much without something developing between them.

Unless you have nerves of steel, you should tell her you can't deal with all the time she is spending with your former friend. Try to think of some reasonable guidelines that you would feel comfortable with and hope that she is willing to compromise for the good of your relationship.

Good luck! George

-- from George
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