keep him or cut him off

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Hi I have a dilemma. I was in love with this guy when i was 16 and he was 25. He's from Norway and he was running a business here. about 6 months after we started being together his business lincense was revoked and he had to go back to Norway. Then I met my current bf who was so much more amazing than the first bf. Its now 3 years later and we've had problems but he's still amazing and we're still together. Last month I went to Norway for another reason but since I was there I called my ex and we did some catching up over dinner. I had no Idea, he was so emotional and told me how much he still loves me and wants me back. He already got a good business running there but he's willing to move it to the US if I leave my bf and come back to him. When we were together he was pretty cold and non emotional, all we did was I sneak out of school to have sex at his place or sometimes in his office. We never had a date or dinner until now and I wasnt happy about that. But now took me out and was so charming and nice to me and I think I'm in love with him now more than when I was with him. I did something I regret now, i cheated, I slept with him in Norway. But before I came back I told him there can be nothing more between us because I am with someone else and he was really hurt. He asked for my phone number but I didnt give it to him because I dont want my bf to find out and dont want to lose him over this. Now I back in the US and he emails me once in a while and says he loves me and he will wait for me until I leave my bf and things like that. I email him back and I said I love him too but just want to be friends now.

My question is: Do you think he will just wait for me for ever and be alone because i want him to be happy too. I will never tell my bf that I cheated but do you think I should tell my boyfriend that my ex still want to be with me? Advice
Your ex will get over you.

He is using emotional pressure to try to attract you to him.

You have an "amazing" boyfriend and he should be your first priority. Do tell him that your ex is still interested in you but don't tell him about the sex.

There is an off chance too that your ex is partly attracted to you because if he married you he would get a green card. Pure speculation on that. Meanwhile, gradually taper off on contact with him. It won't do him any good if you keep in contact with him.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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