No callback after cancelled date...?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Hey y'all,

So I've had this happen twice to me. (different women...hoping it's a freak coincidence)

Basically, I meet someone, I ask them out, we go have the typical 'icebreaker' first date (coffee, a snack at a little restaurant--low key, first date stuff), we (apparently) have a good time and then I ask, at the end of the date, if they'd like to do XYZ (comedy club, restaurant, second date stuff) sometime in the near future.

Both times, they said yes (and seemed enthusiastic about it) and I said I'd call them on day XYZ to confirm it. I call them on that day, confirm it, we plan how we're going to get to place/event XYZ and then, right before we go to do XYZ, (both times about an HOUR beforehand) I get a cancellation and an "I'm sorry to cancel last minute...can we meet up some other time?"

So, me being a reasonable, flexible person, I say (on the phone, to them) "Okay, no problem. I'll call you (day XYZ) to figure out when to reschedule it."

So, both times I called them, and both times I've gotten no answer on the phone, and both times I haven't been called back. In the case before this, I ended up calling twice more (with about 12 hours between each call) with no answer. In the current case, I'm leary to call again since I left a message and I don't want to look needy. (because, honestly, neediness is not attractive) But what gives? I would think that, logically, if they REALLY didn't want to go on a second date, they wouldn't plan it all the way up until the end and then cancel--it would seem more likely they'd pull the whole "I'm just too busy, I don't think I can find a time to do it" or "I'll think about it and give you a call" (and then not call back). OR, even if they change their mind about things literally an hour before the second date, (unusual, but it would explain the last-minute cancellation) they wouldn't ask me to call again and RE-SCHEDULE. Right? Am I missing something? :)

Is this just bad luck or is this a new trend that I've missed? And, lastly, should I actually call this girl again in 12 hours, (the current case, not the first one I mentioned before) even having left a message, and having had no luck in the previous instance? It's not the end of the world to me, but I'm a bit frustrated and a bit confused. I feel like if I was less confused about what's going on I wouldn't be frustrated. Any ideas/theories/etc.? Advice
Your analysis is very good.

My theory is that you just ran into some coincidental bad luck.

The only suggestion I have is to omit your statements that you will call them back on XYZ. Instead, say "I'll give you a call" and keep them guessing.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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