Girl over the internet / feel like im in 6th grade....

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Hey i am 16. I wrote to you a few months ago and followed your advice and everything turned out fine, thanks.

Now, I have started using this cool website that allows people to use webcams and chat. I met this one girl around my age and I think we have established somewhat of a friendship. I do have her instand messenger and talk to her every now and then here and there when not on the cam website. Anyways, whenever I talk to this girl..I feel like im back in 6th grade again with my first crush. My chest starts thumping and I get butterflies in my stomache, and im not quite sure why. I have known the girl for not even a week, and I get that feeling whenever I talk to her. It seems to only happen with girls im attracted to. When I get that feeling, I pretty much lose half my personality, and conversation becomes dull. My question(s) are why would I be feeling this way about a girl I haven't even known for a week, and met her over the internet on a webcam. ( faces only, no flashing or anything ) And how can I get over this? I feel like its been holding me back my whole life from attractive girls. I know obviously this girl is over the internet shes in NY and im in MA, but I think I have reached the point where enough is enough. Why am I falling for people I dont know so fast, how can I stop it, and how can I get good conversation going if I always have butterflies? I try to be myself, but its hard when you dont know what to say.

example, I was talking to the above girl for an hour and sometimes things were a bit dull, not always. She is pretty crazy and outgoing, I know im the problem. I can talk to a girl i am not attracted to at all and have a conversation with them for hours.

Hope I didnt write to much, thanks for the help. Advice
You feel nervous with attractive girls because you fear rejection.

Get a pad of paper and write a topic at the top of each page such as family, friends, school, vacations, music, cable, games, sports, etc. On the page write down subjects and questions and comments. You don't want to quiz her to death so be sure to have comments about your own situation to talk about.. like your family pet, parents, siblings, grandparents, etc.

When your conversation starts getting dull, take out the pad and look for an interesting topic to mention and see where it leads.

Fortunately she is talkative so you don't have as much pressure on you.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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