How to get over and move on
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Okay I have a serious jelousy problem. I feel like I should go from the start though.
My boyfriend told me that I was the only girl he ever found attractive, sexy or even pretty or ever liked. Of course I found this to be weird (it is isn't it?) and kind of didn't believe him. We argued about this countless times. I would always ask him what was wrong about different girls, or if he thought a girl was pretty and about the past. I am stuck on the past and what he might have done. I don't know how to get over it.
But yeah, we've been argueing about this for countless months and he'd always get mad if I didn't believe him. I finally started believing him (I mean, he's my boyfriend and he loves me...he couldn't have been lying or anything for all these months). Well recently I found out it wasn't all true. He says there's truth to it but it was greatly streched.
I'm now even more worried and feel less special. I worry if he's looking at other girls now, and how he might have looked at them then. The thought of him possibly being sexually attracted to another girl just hurts so much and I can't get over it. He's mad at me now and says I should just get over it and I'm being stupid. I know if I was with another guy or something I wouldn't feel like this...I think it's partly or mostly because I feel like after all these months it had to not be true. I always kind of knew a day like this would come where it wouldn't be true but I just feel so bad and can't get over it. He says it doesn't matter because he only loves me and he only cares about me and he just ignores other girls and he never even really cared for them before. He says that Only I've made him feel this way and he just wants to be happy with me and doesn't even think about them or care about them because he has me... I feel bad because I want to stop worrying and to stop thinking so many bad things but I just can't get over it. I don't know what to do... I feel like all I had was that I was the only pretty or attractive girl or girl he liked and he always said I was special because of it...but now I don't even have that and I don't know what to do or to think.
I don't know please help me.
You really need to see a counselor.
You are suffering too much pain to figure this out alone (don't count me because nothing can be fixed in a short email.) A professional counselor is trained to deal with problems such as yours.
Meanwhile look at the following website which discusses trust which so important to defeating jealousy:
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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