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True love isn't the kind that endures through long years of absence, but the kind that endures through long years of propinquity. -- Helen Rowland

Not sure if we should break up but I don't want to!

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Let me tell you first off: I am 25 years old and I am a lesbian. I met my girlfriend online on myspace and we have been talking for almost a month.

My girlfriend is 36 years old, has three teen children (and a son-in-law), is divorced (for around 15 years), lives with two or three roommates but two of them are moving out next month. So you can imagine the rent and bills she has to pay and how many mouths she needs to feed etc.. Therefore, she is tight with money but she gets a paycheck (every two weeks I think) and the pay she gets is pretty good for working 10 hours a day five days a week. She does not have a car as her driver's license was taken away but she will be able to get it back and plans to do so in the spring. So she has to depend on someone taking her or public transportation which she hates. Three people other than her work so that helps.

We've never met offline and we have a blash talking and having fun online! We make each other laugh, talk for hours, she's honest, loyal and great. I've talked to her friends and they confirm that she's just wonderful. So she's legit.

We set up to meet offline in a busy place last weekend. She said she couldn't come because of the weather and not wanting to wait for the bus then she said her check didn't come in as it should've. So she couldn't come to meet but wants to go out with me on Valentine's Day!

I've started losing faith in her because she didn't meet with me but that was just one time but she hasn't rescheduled another time to meet other than Valentine's Day and I want to meet before that! Problem is she works five days a week and usually needs to pay and clean the house and animal cages and she's tired for working 10 hours a day five days a week so she sleeps in if possible.

I'm trying so hard to pull her out of the house to help her have some fun and get less stressed out. It seems that she blows me off but she is always talking to me a lot so she's giving some in this relationship and I give some too. She's told her friends and family about me so that tells me that she really likes me (and I think her children are ok with me dating her).

Well yesterday morning, her married and pregnant daughter may be experiencing an ectopic pregnancy so my girlfriend is down after she was hoping to be a grandma! I sent her daughter and her a message, saying how sorry I was and I'd give my girlfriend some space if she needed it. She hasn't contacted me yet lately so I was getting worried.

I sat down to write down reasons to break up and not to break up and I came up with 7 reasons not to and 3 or 4 reasons to do so. I really care about her and I think she cares for me too. But I don't know what to do. I'm lonely and unhappy without her but when I talk to her, I'm very happy. It's like she's the answers to everything in my life and it's almost impossible to find someone else like her. I hate to break up with her and I feel it will really hurt her if I do. What am I gonna do? I was hoping that I wouldn't get advice to break up with her because that's what everyone keeps saying.

PS: I know she seems too old for me but as long as we care for one another, love to talk and be there for one another, that's all that should matter.

RomanceClass.com Advice
A month is too little time to be thinking of breaking up with her.

Obviously you like her a lot and it sounds like a wonderful match up (except for the finances.)

So my advice is to continue to support her and contact her. Give it at least another month before making any final decisions.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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