im 19 going on 20,

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
I didnt know where to put this.

ok here is the problem. I've known this girl since she was ten, she was one of my freinds sister. well of course i never thought of her that way at the time, and never really talked to her. well my freind moved away, and his sister got ahold of me online one day (she was 12 i think at the time) well she told me that my freind was killed in a car accident. hearing this news crushed me, and I bet it hurt her even more. after that day we always talked online, since she lived so far away, trying to help each other threw his death, since she dosnt have much freinds where she lives now. Her parents know that we talk each day, because me and her brother has pretty known each other since we were born, since our parents were freinds. her parents think that it helps talking to someone that knew her brother so well would help her thew all of it, and since i was his best freind. well we still talk everyday online, and nothing comes up in the terms of "us" but I think i have fallen in love with her, because she is extreamly smart, has dreams and goals. i dont know if i should tell her over time? or should i tell her now and wait until she is older and has known what life is about first? or not say anything and continue just staying freinds? or wait and tell her when she is an adult? I dont know what i should do, but i known i dont want to cut off connection with her, because that would mean cutting off connection with my best freinds family after his death. I dont know what my freind wanted for his sister, but i know he would want someone to take good care of her, in a ralationship, or just being freinds. Please tell me im not a weirdo for feeling this way. I only want what is best for her, me and our families. Advice
One thing to realize is that if you have sex with her you could go to jail.

So my advice is to keep up the relationship and don't tell her you are falling in love with her. This will keep a cover on the kettle so things don't get out of hand. It would probably do her no good to have a closer relationship with a 20 yr old. I suspect there are plenty of 20 yr old guys who fall for 14 yr old girls. But it is best to wait until she is 16 or 18.

So, you are not a weirdo but you could cause a lot of trouble for both of you and your families if you try to start a romance prematurely.

You are doing a wonderful thing right now, so don't mess it up.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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