we need lil help or advice&hope she will be open to it
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
ive wrote several times-awhile back and it helped&we are still 2gether&its almost 3yrs.im white male32yrs-shes mexican 24yrs.we made it threw very tuff times-our probs &things around us.we have what i feel are very important in our realationship-we confide in eachother-person we turn 2 everyday for comfort or laughs-have incredible sexual comfort level-have very similar things happening in our lives everyday and have understanding of that.our problem is social and things that go along with it-the types of places(to eat-lounge-cocktails-food-music-kinds of crowds-friends)were completely opposite and dont like it at all.and causes us 2 fight or causes distance between us.and along with that we fite cuz way that she deals with men hitting on her-and shes attractive so it happens several times daily,she doesnt say or act like she has boyfriend and doesnt want to be rude to strangers(even if the men are rude)she lets the men control it(if they wnt to talk to her she talks-never says no thank you or anything or etcetc.)this makes me have trust issues and she wont talk bout any theses things and when it comes up or happens-she doesnt want to hurt strangers feelings-but we are hurt-that sux!im a talker-lets be close guy-shes not talker and doesnt cuddle girl. what can i(we)do bout solving it(men-flirtn thing and social prob)?we love eachother alot. and when we met we met she came across that she enjoyed things and my styleand not that girl that gets kicks out of men hitn on her-seems diff now. please help us and how to approach it. thank you
Seems there are three problems: the social scene, guys hitting on her, and her lack of cuddling/talking.
The first one is easy: take turns choosing the place to go and the other has to at least pretend to be happy.
Two is simple: You stop being so jealous and realize she is a 24 year old attractive woman and guys are going to hit on her. She can't be rude to them. However, if you can think of one or two *easy* things that she could change... for example if she puts her hand on their arm she should stop it. And she should once in a while mention that she has a boyfried. You then let the rest of it go.
Cuddling is tough... maybe a compromise where every other day you cuddle for fifteen minutes and don't make it always lead to sex. Women often like to cuddle just for love's sake and not heading toward bed. But some of the time it should lead to bed and she will give you the right signs.
So partly the answer is compromising and the other is to not care so much about things that are hard to change.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com