Can i ever trust her again after cheating?
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
We've been together for just over a year now and we have a 4 month old child together. Throughout the entire relationship I caught her talking to her ex "j", other exes and guys that she used to have sex with. I also caught her sending dirty text messages. Each time I confronted her she said it was innocent and that nothing ever happened or ever would. Like you, I've treated this girl better than anyone else and I love her very very much. But, each time something would happen I would give her the benefit of the doubut and forgive her but the same things would keep happening over and over again. Things came to a head around Christmas when she threw a party at our house. That night she got trashed and she was flirting with another guy right there in front of me. She and her friends left the house to go play pool. I followed her and caught her sitting in another mans lap kissing him. I was done at that point and we separated. Instead of her going to her friends or family she went straight back to her ex "j" and I know that they had sex. Two weeks passed and she came back to me saying that she would change and that she didn't know what she had until she lost me. I gave her another change on conditions that we don't have the same problems we had in the past about other guys and her exes. Well, she could not pay her cell bill and it was shut off. I changed my cell to a family plan and got her a phone. I told her NOT to get the number out to other guys and not to give it to her ex boyfriend "j" because I didn't want to have to worry about her texting or talking to him anymore. Two days go by and I look at her phone, she was texting him. I confronted her and asked her why do what I asked her exactly NOT to do. She said that he called her at work and that she had to give him her cell number. So, I said it HAD to stop because I was not going to go through that again. Another 2 days go by and I saw her texting him again. That night I had her cell phone turned off because I was not going to pay the bill for her to keep talking to him. At this point, I don't trust her and I don't know what to do. On a scale of 1 to 10, she is a 10 and very attractive. I know that she uses that to her advantage and I don't think that she knows how to say no to guys when they flirt with her. I'm 33 and she is 27 and I think she is old enough to know better. At this point it seems like I'm trying with her and trying to get over my trust isses with her but she is not helping me. Anyone have any advice on what I should do or say?? Thanks.......Craig
No matter if she is a 22 on a scale of 1 to 10, you still need to get rid of her.
She has made it clear that she is not going be trustworthy. There is not much more you can do except professional counseling.
Or you can learn to live with it... but that's a miserable solution.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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Still with him