Should I stay with him?
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Ok. First of all, I dont know if this matters or not but he is my first boyfriend. I started dating him with we were both 17 and we have been dating for 1 year and 3 months. We are in our Senior year in high school, and I am getting ready for college and trying to decide where to go.
When I was younger I was almost raped by someone and I think that because of this I have a problem trusting people and I'm not really attracted to guys (or girls). I love my boyfriend very much and we even have cute loving nicknames for eachother that we use that no one else knows, its just our little secret for eachother. I finally did get to trusting him and then he cheated on me with a girl at work. He says that he regrets it very much and would do anything to take it back and for a while I had a hard time forgiving and forgetting but I finally did forgive him and im back to trusting him but not 100%. I feel very comftable around him and he loves everything about me, even my flaws that I am having a hard time loving his flaws. He is dislexic and dosent read well and reading is something that is very important for me so that kind of bothers me a little. I was thinking about getting an apartment with him when I go to college because he isnt going to college so he would go with me wherever I went. I told my dad about this and he is freaking out about it. We have always argued a little because I tend to make this more of a big deal then they should be but ever sence my dad has started this we argue alot more. We always get over these arguments quickly though, like, within 10-15 min after talking it out. I love him very much but I tend to be a little self centered and I think that I tend to take advantage of him and I am working on this, im not doing it as much. so now I cant decide if I want to get an apartment with him or if we should go on a 'break' with him. Since he is my first boyfriend, im not sure if he is the one and im kind of curious about what it would be like to date other guys. I would like to try it but I dont want to lose my current boyfriend. He treats me so well and I never thought anyone could love me as much as he does. He said that we could still date and if I found someone that I wanted to try dating that I could as long as I dont have sex with them. Is that a very good idea? But anyway the main question is should I stay with him when I go to college or should we take a break for a year or so?
This is a tough one to figure out.
It isn't clear whether your father will let you live in an apartment with your boyfriend. That would be a very important factor in your decision making.
If you could stay in an apartment my advice would be to do it and not take a break. But if you are not going to be living with him then my advice would be to take a break.
There is so much going on in college that trying to deal with a long distance b/f is very difficult. And your b/f is unlikely to keep his promise to let you date other guys so long as you don't have sex with them. Nor would it be an easy promise for you to keep or want to keep.
Work on your Dad to get him on your side.
Good luck and Happy Holidays! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com