Am i doing the right thing?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been with my boyfriend for a little over 2years, ever since march 1, 2004. On my birthday, november 6, 2004 he asked me to marry him, and i moved in with his mom and sister. Him and I have shared the deepest darkest secrets, and we have been through a lot together. His family is kinda crazy though, the music is always loud, and they are always doing drugs and stuff, and i just didnt fit in there, so october of 2006, i moved back to my moms and he went too. Well we stayed there for about a month. There is this boy that i had befriended over the summer that works with me. And it was nothing more than friendship. Well all my friends are country, and my boyfriend isnt really that. He loves to stay inside and play video games and stay on the computer and download stuff. Im into horses, the outdoors, etc. He doesnt really care for that stuff. he also gets babied my his mom way to much. hes almost 21 yrs old and DOESNT HAVE TO PAY ANYTHING TO HER. he just asks, and he gets for free. well, nov 6 was my b-day so we got a cabin over the weekend. the guy i befriended at work was there and my best friend and my boyfriend. Me and my friend from work stayed up all night and talked. and i kinda started to like him. i ended up kissing him. so the next week i didnt really talk to my boyfriend, even though he lived with me and slept in the same bed with me, i still didnt talk to him. i just felt alot different towards him. I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend, it wasnt a arguing break up, it was actually pretty easy. i told him that we had nothing in common and he never talked to me. and he was like i was thinkin the same thing, i was like well we shouldnt be together then. he was like ok. so the next day he moved out. he still promised to be a good friend. so now im with the guy i work with, and my ex bf gives me attitude and just acts like he doesnt care about me and its only been a week since we broke up. I mean i will always love him and have feelings for him and care for him, because he was my first love, my first everything, but now i am feeling that he doesnt give a damn about me at all. I think he loves the fact that hes free now. Like he came over tongiht, and he stood up like he was leaving and i was like are u leaving already, and he was like well we are just sittin here not talkin like always. It makes me feel like ive done the wrong thing. he could have been the best thing that ever happened to me, and i just threw him away. But then again, he agreed to it.i have no idea if im doing the right thing or not. I says that we should have broke up anyway bc we had nothing in common. But I dont believe that there should be a relationship with just a common intrest. Theres also love, commitment, trust, etc. and it was all there but the common intrest. I am really confused, and i have no idea what i should do at this point. Do you guys have any suggestions?
You have probably done the right thing.
Not having anything to talk about is a serious break-down in a relationship. Communications is so important that if it isn't there it will drag down the other aspects of a relationship.
Unless you think you can beef up the communications, let things remain the way they are.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com