In Love With my Pastor

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
im in love with my youth pastor. hes 21 and im 13. i dont understand why people like me have to fall in love with people that are older than us. its so hard. But the hardest thing is he doesnt know that i love him and i cant tell him i dont know what to do. o and the other thing is he has a girlfreind so that makes it worse. PLEASE HELP ME! i dont know what to do i miss him every time i leave him and when i dont get to talk to him on line i almost fall apart.i love him and i dont know what to do so please help i cant take it tired of crying and being depressed. So wonce again please save me from being broken and give me advice im desprete. Advice
First, you need to understand that this happens ALL the time and is perfectly normal :) Just about every 12 and 13 year old girl I know had something like this happen to them! I know it happened to me when I was 12. It's usually your teacher, your church contact, your coach, it's a guy who isn't "old" but who is involved in something with you and who is helping you. You get to spend time with them, get to know them, and fall head over heels in love with them.

Don't get depressed about this. It's a normal part of growing up!! It's teaching your heart how romantic love works, and how it feels, and it's showing you what kind of man you are attracted to.

So admire this guy, care for him, and dream about the great traits that he has. And be happy that he is in your life. You don't have to *own* him to love him, do you??? That perhaps is one of THE most important lessons of love - that love means you CARE for someone but not that they are a POSSESSION.

When you realize that, you will be happy, and I bet you soon enough that you will meet someone your own age with those same traits, and will begin to think about dating. And you'll always remember that pastor that got you started.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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