Boyfriend still married, jealousy a problem
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
We have been together for 6m,and moved in together 3m ago.He is still married and has two boys.He tells me that she wants to sign the papers,but she hasn't and he is not pressing the subject,they are still married.He wants to be her friend becauce she has no one else and he needs to be there for her.She calls anytime,even at his work, which he has told me NOT to do so.I get so jealous of their relationship.He even has said that he needs space (which happens about every other month) and might go back for the boys sake,I wasn't born yesterday.After a few days of space he says he would never leave me and go back to her.She drinks a bit and he hated living there,that she keeped the house nasty,would not do anything all day long,this is what he tells me.He says he loves me and wants to be w/me.How do I contol my jealousy of his hope to be soon ex?I need peace of mind and heart,he really feels in my heart he is the one that comes once in a lifetime.Him changing his mind every other month is killing me.On the other hand I DO NOT want to lose him.I try really hard to just keep my mouth shut about how his relationship with her kills me,but I know that's not healthy. I have so much more to write,but this is suppose to be short.If you have any advice sure would help out!I don't know where else to turn.Thank you!
My advice is to keep doing what you are doing, even though it requires some sacrifice on your part.
Clearly he has chosen you to be with and only has rare thoughts of going back. Encourage him to consult a lawyer (they usually don't charge for a first visit.) He should ask the lawyer for a recommendation how to get his wife to make her move and find out how much it would cost for him to file for divorce against his wife.
If you haven't done so already, have the boys come over to your place so they can get used to it and so the wife will also get used to it. Sometimes it only takes a few simple steps to get the ball rolling.
All of this will also ease your jealousy.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com