His relationship with my children
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I've been seeing a wonderful guy for the past six months. He is caring, kind and has shown me more respect than I have ever had before in my life. He has been quite open about the fact that he wants our relationship to progress to us living together and says that I am the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to him. The problem is that I have six children and he is constantly stressing about how we are going to live together. My three youngest children (5,3,2,)were very spoilt by their dad and they are a bit on the wild side. I try very hard and my boyfriend has been a great help but they are very destructive and don't comply at all. It seems that they are always being sent to time out or breaking things or fighting with each other. His three children in comparison are angels! They are always well behaved and never seem to put a foot wrong. He stresses about where we will live, how long it is going to be before we have any time to ourselves, and what the kids do to the house. I've explained that it will take time for me to settle them down into a more routined lifestyle but he says that its been six months and they are getting worse! His way of dealing with it is to try really hard with them and when it doesn't work he goes off to his house for days on end without contacting me, (to get his head together.) He has a very firm but fair approach towards them whereas I am a but inconsistent and give in to them a lot. I understand that he is taking on a huge responsibility but I am getting more and more stressed about all of this and I can't see us getting anywhere. What can we do?
Do you have six kids and he has three? Or is it three and three? How old are his kids?
I'm not going to be of much help because you need family counseling and not romance advice. So that's my main recommendation: get some counseling.
I would also advise not moving in together until he and your kids get to know each other better. He says they are getting worse but that is probably not really the case... he may be finding them harder to deal with.
Good luck to you!! You really could use some. George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com