how can i fix things
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My girlfriend and I were wonderful in the beginning. But I had doubts of our LDR and told her I did and that I almost considered dating someone nearby. I said I wanted her more and we stayed together. Now things have faded. She flirts and acts lovey dovey with her regular customers at work. She is more than just nice to them and jokes about meeting them for sex after work. When she talks to me she is tired and not loving and wont laugh at my jokes like she does all day long with her "regulars" she calls them. I ask her questions and she gets angry asking why I have to make her think before she goes to sleep but I argue that we dont get to have a conversation earlier in the day and once in awhile I want to know something deeper than how was her day. She has become more moody and says I expect her to be lovey dovey all the time and I am selfish and dont understand her stress. I do understand but also expect that since I didnt cause the stress she should still say she loves me and talk to me and hang up with me in a loving way. She resents me that I am a graduate student and thinks my only worries are getting As and that I'm hiding from the real world she lives in of working hard and paying bills. She no longer cares when I give her compliments and do sweet things and never goes out of her way to say or do anything sweet to me other than saying she loves me back when I say it first. She says the fact she talks to me at all is proof of love and is all I should need. She says she's only obligated to treat me as good as everyone else. I feel that as a boyfriend I need to be treated special and not just like another guy. Even then her regulars at work get her perkiness, laughter, smiles, bigger hugs, and attention and I get a dead, grumpy girl at the end of the day. She also does not let me be friends with girls especially because of my fear in the beginning of dating her and thinks I am cheating. But recently one of her many guy friends has told me he's slept with her many time while she's been with me. I told her I dont believe him but she is angry with me and thinks I'm sneaking around talking to her friends and trying to make her look bad. I dont know what to do and just want the trust and love back.
Your situation is so complicated that the Internet is not the place to deal with it.
You should go to your school counselling service and get some advice from a professional licensed counselor. This person can help you sort out what is going on.
You might want to print off a copy of your note to me since it sums things up quite well.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com