Please advise me on what to do to get our marriage back

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My husband and I had a lot of really horrible circumstances that caused our relationship to fall apart. We had EVERYTHING working against us, but always managed to stick through the bad times. He moved out and I have stayed true, knowing that HE is the love of my life and my best friend.
After one stupid mistake, he has completely shut down. He screams at me, tells me he hates me, that he never loved me, and is always yelling. I love him. I need him and our daughter needs him. I have worked through my issues and am doing rather well. I don't fight back and I don't get angry because I love him too much to tell him things I will regret later. Why is he pushing me away?
He keeps saying NEVER, but still yells at me and is emotional when we speak. If he didn't care, why would he get so upset? I have to make a decision to move to be close to my family to help me with my daughter and my life in about a month. 9 days ago, my husband decided it was over for good. I just don't believe him. Maybe I am crazy, but I feel like other issues and the advice he gets from his friends is keeping him for listening to his own feelings. We have a family and could have a great life together. What should I do to win him back and is it even worth it? If I move, I will be 6 hours away and I can't pick up and just move back since I am in school. His job is here. He is a great father and a great person. I love him and I am sure that he loves me. He has to heal his wounds...mine are healed. I know I love him. Should I hang in there and try to be a friend? Or leave and take our child? I don't want to get into all the details, but he says that he doesn't trust me. I think that he feels this way because he is a police officer and sees so much bad in the world. I need my best friend. I know he needs me. I am a very rational girl. I have always known when to call it quits. I just feel like leaving would be a huge mistake. Counseling? Please help. Advice
Absolutely, you two need to get professional licensed counselling and very quickly.

You only a month to figure this out so get moving.

I assume that you have told him that a month is all he has. Maybe that's what made him decide 9 days ago. I hope you told him what you told me about how you feel about him and your situation. As you know, police officers have a very strong sense of right and wrong... it is part of their jobs.

Appeal to his need to be a father to his daughter and how she will suffer if she loses his constant presence.

See a counsellor! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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