Love and Marriage

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Hi my name is Kim I'm 18 and i'll be 19 in October. My boyfriend will be 20 this month (July). We have been together for about 3 months. Friends and family have been teasing us about marriage when we first started going together. Both me and him said "NO!" A few days ago we were at the fair I had a blast. When we went on the zipper we were disagring about the date we met. He said that would we have to agree on a date cause he wanted it to be the right date for our one year. Plus that night at the fair he was telling someone he knows that you don't let someone like me go. The other guy said well.. marry her!

I was expecting the reaction of my boyfriend to be No. But the amazing thing was that his reaction was Wait... give it a little time. So... I guess my question would be does that mean that he is getting totally serious about this realtionship? Because I am very serious about this realtionship, but not to the point of marriage. And the marriage thing is a little frightening. Plus it has only been 3 months, but i'm just not interested in marriage right now. I was wondering does it seem like he is becoming interested in marriage? or just totally serious about his relationship with me?

Thanks for all your help! :) Advice
Joking about marriage is the #1 most common thing about people who are dating. And it's very easy to sometimes think it's cool and romantic, to at other times think it's way too early, and to swing back and forth even in the same day. Many couples go back and forth non stop between the various extremes, and many people date easily for years and years without ever getting married. Really, there is no "real" reason to get married any more. You can have kids without being married, you can have a house without being married. Being married is more a "state of mind". I know many people who have kids, a house and have been together 20+ years and aren't married. So for many people it's the thrill of "Having Her" or "Having Him". And depending on how secure or insecure you are at the moment, you may or may not need that ring to feel good.

So anyway, I wouldn't put too much importance in a single statement. Maybe he saw other married couples around at the time and thought it was sweet! Maybe he saw little kids there and thought it'd be cool to bring his OWN little kids around to a fair someday. And over the coming months (and years) you guys can talk about if you want kids and when you want kids and what you want out of life. But there is never any need to rush into marriage. You have tons and tons of years in front of you to make those decisions.

-- from Jenn
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