He Ran Off
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I've known this guy for about 5yrs, and we just started to get a one on one contact with each other 3mnths ago. Everything was so perfect that I found myself telling myself that this was too good to be true. He was everything I wanted in a man..he was perfect! Things were good he introduced me to his friends I introduced to mine. He even introduced me to his family.
I say a couple weeks after I met his mom on mother's day he flipped flopped on me. He cut me completly off. Which was a BIG surprise to me. He told me that things were moving to fast and that he needed some space. Now I do not buy this because it sounds phony, but I do remember in the begining of our 1mnth relationship he did tell me he didn't want a relationship which was fine with me because I just got out of a 4yr one myself.
This guy doesn't even call me on any friendship type time. You would think that we weren't even friends before all of this. I have been so confused and depressed over this that I don't know what to do with myself. I NEVER been cut off like this. Can you explain where we went wrong?... :0(
It really sounds like something happened to cause this in him. People don't tend to just invent these life-changing moments in an instant in their own heads. And you really deserve after 5 years of friendship to know how he's doing. For him to run away from a friend and hide is pretty immature. You deserve much better than that.
So I would call him up, as a friend, and invite him out to a restaurant he really likes. So neutral ground - it's not either of your homes. Say it's just for a night out, nothing serious. And just be together. Don't pressure him on how he feels and such - tho if he brings it up I wouldn't silence him! Try to show him that you aren't a threat - that any threats are figments of his imagination. If he refuses to even have dinner with you, remind him of how long you guys have been friends and that you should be able to just EAT together!!
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com