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The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. --Morrie Schwartz

Quiet Girls

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I am a 13 year old 8th grader in boarding school (said for stated legal reasons)

This is sort of a general question and a personal question.

The general one is for guys who like quiet girls, and they talk a lot, and seem to enjoy each other's company. Maybe they talk after school for a couple hours, but the guy develops feelings for her. This stirs up and pretty people somehow know his feelings for her, and they tell her about them.

Usually, the girl closes up a bit to the guy at this point, but seems to be more open with everyone else, which bothers the guy seriously. My question is: Where is this nervousness coming from? Like is she afraid to talk to him 'cause he likes her, or does she want to get away from him totally, or does she share feelings but is nervous about it.

As for my personal question, the above scenario did happen to me last night, and I've been thinking about it all day. At the school dance, we talked a lot, and I asked her to dance, but she said she didn't know how (she's always been a sort of outcast), so I showed her, but still didn't want to. So we sat on the side and talked a bit.

After a while, we decided to go outside 'cause it was getting too loud, and after we got out, a string of people walked between us and she walked away without saying anything, so I was kinda hurt there.

Towards the end of the dance, I saw her playing foosball with one of my better [male] friends and another boy. I figured I'd join since the dance was almost over. We played a bit, and I let her score goals against me, but after the dance, she called over my friend and I didn't see them since. I presumed they were alone and flirting it up. And as far as I know, I'm the ony guy who's actually commited time to her and talked with her a lot, and probably one of her best friends here.

My opinion is, since I was her FIRST friend, I'm stuck on that role and am just there for morale reliance, while other guys can have an easier time with her.

What is the best way (in your own opinion of course) that I can cope with this problem?

Thank you,


P.S. Just as a random question, when was romanceclass.com started up?

RomanceClass.com Advice
Romanceclass was started in 2003.

Just pretend that everything went perfectly and you had a wonderful time with her. She was undoubtedly nervous and shy about the whole evening and also your advances (which were very good ones, by the way.)

Keep giving her attention and if nature has its way you and she will become a couple pretty soon.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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