what is going on
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been broken up with my boyfriend of 2 and a half years for quite some time now....he told me he didn't have time for a girlfriend, but two weeks later, wouldn't ya know....he was with some other chick. I was crushed, because I was in very in love with him at the time. But I'd decided that I had to let him go, and made no efforts to contact him anymore. I even told him that I didn't want to hear from him anymore, cause it was too painful for me, especially since he was with this new girl. I thought he understood. Only...he's been emailing me every month to 'see how I am doing', and he acts all flirty and says things he shouldn't if he is with someone else. He even emailed at one point to say that he was in love with me and wanted to meet...but changed his mind days later, saying - he is still with his girlfriend and things are okay. I expected NOT to hear from him after that, only I still am...and it's been 8 months since our breakup. In the past 2 weeks, he's emailed me 3 times. The first couple to tell me how much he misses me and how great and attractive I am, and how thrilled he is when I reply to his emails and that it means a lot to him. Also, that he looks for me when he sees a car like mine, hopes to run into me at some point and to convince me to go to some bar that he likes and frequents often.
And the last email I got...he sent me from work...in the middle of the afternoon...to ask me some random question about my job that definitely could have waited until he got home...and then told me to reply to his personal email address so he could read it later (????). It is like he just wrote something random so that he could hear from me again. I don't get it. Does it seem like he still has feelings for me? Does he want me back? I just wish I understood, cause I am tired of getting the run-around from him. And through all of this, he is still with the same girl. And he's the one that made the decision to be with her in the first place, so why not leave me be? I just feel like if he is so happy with her, then it shouldn't matter what I am doing. Does he want to be friends..cause I don't want to be. But then, how could he be so oblivious to the fact that being friends would be impossible....knowing the feelings that I have/had (not sure which at this point) for him. I think I only want to be with him if it is a relationship...even though he hurt me so much. what is going on??? :(
He wants his cake and eat it too.
Apparently this new g/f is not enough to keep him emotionally satisfied. So he contacts you to try to rebuild those old good feelings that he misses.
If you still care for him then tell him that she's got to go and then he can contact you.
He's been getting away with this too long.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com