Long Distance Net Relationship
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
my boyfriend and I are an over-the-internet thing, with long phone calls and lots of sweet stuff. we MIGHT be able to meet this summer. we've been together for two months, and its starting to die. we're in love, we really are. but we don't know what to do to save our slowly ending relationship. please help!
One of the reason that net relationships are so appealing is that they're generally so EASY. You can contact the person whenever it's convenient for you, you can pour out your heart and get instant gratification, you can dream for hours and hours about this other person and in essence build the 'best of' out of that person's responses.
But, like any relationship, that elation of 'new love' only lasts so long - only a few months on average. Then you settle into a normal relationship, which takes the bad and the good, the ups and the downs, and is a steady amount of work. Great relationships don't just happen - and this is just as true for a net relationship as a real life relationship. If anything, net relationships are still easier at this point because you don't have to deal with the family and friends and chores and other things that intrude on a real life relationship. You still have that illusion of near-perfection, you have the ease of talking when it's convenient, the ability to dream for hours about what it "would be like" instead of knowing the harsh realities (involving good AND bad) of what it IS like to be with them.
So while I have a lot of suggestions on my site on how to keep a long distance love affair alive, you guys really need to get the FIRST part of the relationship set, which is to get together in person and really see how well you relate to each other. Yes, many people do work out the issues they hit when they meet up in real life and are happy afterwards. But many others meet and realize that what they loved was the net-love aspect ... but that the real life worlds they both life just don't mesh as well.
So really focus on meeting this summer, and put your energy into that. If you aren't even working hard on that, it sort of indicates the level of energy the entire relationship is seeing.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com