Pregnant and dumped for something I didn't do
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Person
I was engaged to my bf of 7 months. We were crazy in love. He was the sweetest and the most amazing bf I have ever had. While were stationed in Iraq together, I got pregnant. He was so happy, but about 2 weeks after I got back, he dumped me and said he didnt think the baby was his. It devestated me because I never cheated on him. In the Army people talk crap about females all the time, especially in my job title cuz there aren't a lot of females. Instead of trusting me, he believed a rumor that some people who didnt like me tried to spread. Everytime I talked to him he called me a whore or said he wished he would have cheated on me, etc. He's like a completely different person. I always tell him I love him cuz I am hoping he will come to his senses. I know his first gf (and the 1st girl he ever had sex with) cheated on him with her ex after they had got engaged. But I have never done anything to give him reason to not trust me. Now he says he is putting his trust in me by believing the baby is his, and whenever I ask about why he dumped me, he says things like... "i need time", "it's not that I won't talk about it, it's that i can't", "i am lost". I try to be supportive and always let him know I am here for him. But he is so cryptic and wont talk to me! I love him so much. It hurts to have someone you love so much dump you for something you didnt do... especially when the two of us are having a baby together. Its bad enough I have no family or friends where I am, but not having him hurts the worse. I talk to him like once a week online and he never tells me he loves me or anything. The most he says is that she still cares about me. What should I do?
Explain to him again that you love him and don't understand why he dumped you.
Tell him you never cheated and say that once the baby is born you want a blood test done to prove he is the father. This will make him pay attention. And, it will put a message in the back of his mind that he could end up paying child support for the next 18 or more years of his life. And child support is not cheap.
Tell him you want to get back together and continue the good relationship you had. Communicate as often as you can, try to build up the trust, and pay him compliments so he knows you care.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com