ConfusedVisitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I'm 26 and just broke up with my g/f of two years. I've been with many girls, but this was my FIRST relationship. All of the others were one-night stands or flings. I never even had a g/f in High School. I guess you could say I wasn't that popular and girls didn't think I was good looking. I joined the Navy after High School and things changed. I was able to get girls and my self esteem got better. At first I thought that she was the one. We dated and then we moved in together after about 1 year. One problem I have is I don't think before I speak and being my first relationship I did a lot of things wrong. She stayed with me through it all and this girl knows me be better then anyone. She accepted me for who I am, loves me unconditionally and would do anything for me. But for some reason I can't do the same. I'm getting ready to transfer with the Navy again, and she was going to move away with me. I feel because this is my first relationship and I don't have anything to compare this expierience with, that I'm not 100% sure that she is the one. Also after time, I've lost a little bit of attraction. I still look at some pictures and say wow, but on the everyday basis I'm sometimes not attracted. Also my self esteem is still not the greatest because I care too much about what my friends and family think. The lasck of attraction didn't affect our sex lives, but I did start to look at other women a little more and wonder if there is someone else out there that has all her qualities plus better looks. I know I'm shallow but I don't know what to do. All of these thoughts about this being my first g/f, is there anyone else out there, and looks got to me. We are taking a break and she moved out yesterday. 1/2 of me thinks I'm doing the right thing taking some time for myself, and I'm going on vacation with some friends next month. But the other 1/2 thinks I'm going to lose the one and I'm making a huge mistake. Can you make sense of this for me, am I just crazy, shallow, and stupid?
You are having the usual doubts of a person who has only had one relationship.
Since you have already called a break, take advantage of the situation to meet other girls and see what develops. After seeing a number of women you may ultimately find that the first one was the right one. But you won't know that unless you try.
By doing this you are taking a risk, but you will never find out if you don't try.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!
All Advice in the category - General Dating
Browse our Answer Database- Browse Answers by Question Category
- Browse Answers by Age Group
- Browse Answers by Date of Response
Please read through the advice on this site before you Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.