Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Ok. I've been working at my current job for about a year, and just a few weeks ago this male coworker came up to me out of the blue and asked me out. Prior to this we never really talked, except for the occasional hello. Anyways, we get together and went mini golfing, and then back to his house on a walk and then watched a movie. Everything went well, we got close, and it was really amazing. It was kind of scary, because we both had been in crazy long relationships before this...and he admited to being scared just of how close we got in one night. It only led to kissing and hugging...but he said he's a private person and so he never gets THAT comfy. He alluded to us being able to continue this, and get closer. He told me he was happy, etc. Well the next few days at work, it was me going out of my way to talk to him, and then I drove out to his house one night to take a walk with him. He told me he really really likes me but has some issues. The main issue is me being a virgin, he says he doesn't know if we can be together cuz he doesn't want to "hurt" me and that he's afraid if him and I are together for a long time, I'll get curious about other guys if the only guy I sleep with is him. But then he said stuff like in the fall, he wants to go camping with me, etc...like if we get serious and stuff. Ok...so after that night, we talk again at work, it's me going out of my way and I visited him on my days off. Then he broke plans with me one night to mow the lawn. So today I asked him if he just wants me to leave him alone...cuz it doesn't seem he wants to be with me, or in his terms, "seeing me."...and we talk after work about it...and he's like "I have a moral dilemma with your virginity...do you really want me to be THAT guy that takes that from you...? I don't feel right doing that, otherwise I really like you. You're sweet, pretty, etc." He told me he sees a future with me, but can't let go of me being a virgin. So I tried brushing my feelings off and was like, I'm fine, whatever...how are you? And he's like..."crappy. I really like you, but..." And so I get up to leave with my dignity in tact (I've learned my lesson before), told him I'm fine and that he'll find another girl and I'll find a guy who doesn't care that I'm a virgin, and he seemed all sad. He's going away for two days on vacay, and before I drove away, he's like..."Don't do anything stupid at your party tonight. Can I have some more time to think about you and this....*getting more flustered*....cuz I'm confused, I need more time...I feel like I'm making a mistake...ummm..." And I just went..."I need to go." So what gives?? Did he just want a piece or try to be a nice guy or what?
Who knows what to think?
How serious was he being about his "moral dilemna" or was it a line. He might not even know himself.
I think you did the right thing by walking away from it.
If it continues, be sure to have some really serious talks with him and see if you can figure out where he is coming from.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com