Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I am 23 years old, and last year I met a really sweet girl. We pretty much hit it off right away and found out that we had similar interests and lots of things in common. Four months went by and I found myself falling in love with her, so I finally decided that I had nothing to lose and told her how I felt. She asked me how long i'd been in love with her, and I told her that I thought I always was because of the attraction when I first met her.
She told me that she had fallen in love with me a long time before that. In April last year we finally decided to get together and give this relationship thing a shot.
In June she called a break to our relationship because she felt we were moving too fast, and mainly because her friends were warning her against me and telling her that I was no good for her, which I couldn't understand, but anyway, I gave her her space to work things out, and about two weeks later we got back together and never spoke of it again.
In September, she went through a really bad depression, and felt like she didn't have a friend in the world, and understandably, she called a break to the relationship again. I promised her that I would always be there to help her out of it, and she said "You don't know that you'll always be there", but I promised her that I would be, and I was, every time I tried to make her feel better about things, she told me that she loved me so much for putting up with it all, and I told her that it was no problem, because we were a team, and I wasn't gonna let her fight her demons alone.
A few weeks later we got back together again, and again we acted like it had never happened. We were talking about marriage, spending the rest of our lives together, children, and I was so happy.
In November, she told me about this guy that had a crush on her, and that he forced a kiss on her, she told me that when she got over the shock of it she pushed him away and told him no, and told me not to freak out over it because she still loved me, so I didn't freak out over it because I trusted her, but i'm not gonna lie, I did wanna wrap my hands around the guy's neck.
Then New Years Day came along, and she sent me an e-mail telling me that she wanted to take another break, because she knew that she loved me, she just didn't know if she was in love with me anymore, and she didn't like it, so she asked to take another break, we spoke on MSN Messenger a few days later, and she told me that just looking at my face breaks her heart, and she finally told me that she wasn't in love with me anymore, and she cried for days afterwards, but she still wanted me in her life because I was so good to her. The twist is that she has fallen in love with the guy that forced a kiss on her, and not only that, he kissed her best friend in front of her, he has tried to rape her when she has been drunk, but luckily didn't, and she still likes him.
All I want is another chance to win her back, it's been 7 months now and I find myself crying over her everyday. Back in March she told me she thought about giving me another try because I treated her well, but I didn't hear anything of it, and now she has told me that there is no chance for us ever again, but in my heart I don't believe that, and I don't want anybody else in my life, there hasn't been since, and every day I just walk around with a heavy heart and a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach, what should I do to win her back?
You want her back but she has fallen in love with another guy.
This is a mountain to climb and it's been seven months.
You might consider getting professional counselling because the chances are slim that you will get her back. Counselling will help you deal with the dark feelings that you are suffering from.
Try to think of this as a learning experience and that it will help you in your future. Whatever you may think now, someone else will hold your heart one day.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com