Arguments
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I have been with my boyfriend for 3 months. I am very jealous and atart arguments with him when he flirts with other girls. I have a lot of men friends, he is annoyed with that but i assure him there is nothing between me amd them. He aalso prooved to me a number of times that he has no any other intention with those girls. However when he flirted with one girl whom he also flirted with her before and when i was upset he never did that again or try to follow her, i got very angry this time and he told me sorry. I was o.k with that but after two days i started arguing with hinm again about his flirting with that girl and told him i want to stop with you. Usually he would start telling me please i am honest with you. But this time he told me i am tired with your behaviour and we should go different ways and that it doesn't concern you.I called him and ask him why he is very angry he told me you keep on reeating the same problem we have already solved but told me trust me i am not interested with that girl. I said o.k. But second day(we all work together)i saw him talking and laughing with that same girl. I was angry with him. Anyway, he changed now with me he told me not to call him everytime and sending texts to him (i do that a lot when i am angry) .We got along well again and he told me he will come visit me the next day(this was yesterday). But today at the work, I heard him telling the girl (she is our teacher) give me your e-mail adress i will send you some pictures.He is making it like a joke.There was also one of our teachers there( this girl's friend) I heard that girl(our teacher) saying no but also laughing . Anyway i sent him messege that same time asking him if he will come to class. After a bit he rang me. He was very angry and told me i have already told you never texts me again. I asked him does that mean i should delete your number, he didn't care and told me bye.I texted him and told him never to phone me again and that its over. Am i right? Does he want to cheat me with that girl or my jealousy pushed him away from me? He flirted with this girl before and the girl flirted back. When i was angry he stopped. But this time he doesn't listen to me. He tells me you control me a lot. Please advice. Should i agree to be with him when he calls me. Or should i call him. But i also heard hiim asking for that lad e-mail adress. Should i ask him about this and tell him i heard? please advice
RomanceClass.com Advice
You have a very strong jealousy and anger streak.
Lots of people do. And, without professional counselling, it is very difficult to overcome. Your boyfriend has decided he won't put up with it any more and has called it quits.
Unless you think you can change his mind, there's not much you can do.
Here is some advice on learning to trust people which might help you:
http://www.coping.org/growth/trust.htm
Good luck! George -- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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