Fiance Cheated and Got Her Pregnant

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Two weeks ago, my fiance that I have been with for almost 3 years confessed to me that he cheated on me with his roommate. I'll give you a lil back ground,he is living in another state right now until he finishes his college courses this summer. He told me that he has been hiding this for about a month and that it has been killing him inside.It only started a month ago. When he told me this my heart was hurt but not broken, I told him that we will get thru this. Now about a week ago he called me again crying and told me that his roommate that he slept with showed him an ept test and it was positive! He confessed to me that he didnt know what to do because he is in love with me but at the same time feels like he needs to be with her because she is having his child. I know that it will be hard because their child together will be a constent reminder of the affair but I have forgiven him for what he has done and told him that I would never use his child with her against him. She has told him that he needs to break up with me and that they need to start looking at churches because they HAVE TO get married. I told him that he needs to really listen to his heart and himself and know that getting married because of a child is no way to be happy. We have since talked more about this and he has talked to her and told her that they do not have a relationship or future together other then their child. She has since told him that she is looking for an apartment. I am trying to move on and WE are working on getting back to normal I realize that this is going to take some time to heal my heart. I guess my main question would be is how do I express to him that I am trying to trust him without it sounding like I am nagging him? I dont want to risk the chance of him feeling like Im pushing him too much. I say this because I have noticed that I have been asking way more questions then normal and that even lil remarks he says makes me analize them more then I should. Advice
You are right that having a baby is not a good reason to get married.

The odds are very much against such a union.

Your advice to him was good and hopefully he will listen to it.

Keep suggesting that he listen to his heart and be sure to make all your advice gentle and loving.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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