Too soon in relationship?
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
My question is, at what point in a relationship is it ok to get angry or be upset with a boyfriend or girlfriend in regards to their actions with others...ie flirting? Basically I began dating this guy and then in turn broke up with him about a month later. The reason i broke up with him is he was online flirting with other girls and it seemed to me he found little time to call or talk to me. Only a few days after we started dating HE had gotten upset at me b/c i had missed his phone call and couldn't call him back right away. So to me it seemed like he was very serious about the relationship from the get go. I started feeling insignificant to him and used by him, not to mention jealous and hurt, when i witnessed his online flirtations. So i broke up with him. I admit that i broke up with him in sortof a jealous rage stating he ingored me and my feelings because at the time i was very hurt and confused and i found breaking up with him was the best solution. But ever since the breakup, i've been wondering, for the sake of other relationships i may begin, if i was in the wrong to be so upset with him for his flirting with others ...after all, we hadn't been dating long...the relationship wasn't exclusive,....should i have gotten so bent out of shape and jealous over his online actions? This has really been upsetting me because i don't want to go through life being a jealous possessive person in my relationships. But then again i don't want to go through life being trusting and understanding and be taken for a ride either. I just wanted to get someone else's perspective. Thanks!
How much flirting is comfortable is always a personal choice.
The comfort level is usually based on family history (are your parents flirtaceous?), and your own prior history with flirtation.
From the way you described the situation, my advice is that you should talk the problem over with your b/f and seek some compromise with him.
Don't worry about being overjealous... there are plenty of people who become jealous when their partner even looks at someone else. On the other hand, it would be good if you could increase your tolerance level for flirting.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com