IN NEED OF HELP
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I AM 29 AND MY WHOLE WORLD WAS BROKEN TODAY. THE LOVE OF MY LIFE WHOM I HAVE BEEN WITH SINCE I WAS 18, AND HAVE 3 BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN WITH TOLD ME THAT HE HAD BEEN UNFAITHFUL FOR THE PAST 4 MONTHS AND HE LOST COUNT OF HOW MANY TIMES. HE BLAMES ME AND SAYS THAT IT WAS BECAUSE I REFUSED TO GO TO COUNSELING (WHICH I DID) BECAUSE I FELT THAT WE COULD FIX OUR OWN PROBLEMS. I HAVE NEVER HURT THIS MUCH, NEVER. AND I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I DONT KNOW HOW TO TELL MY KIDS, I DONT KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS MYSELF, I CANT EVEN THINK OF HOW THEY WILL DEAL WITH IT. HELP!!!!!
Ask him if he is still willing to go to a counselor with you. If he will then you may still have a chance of making things work. Even if won't go you should.
In fact, since this is day 1 of this shock, you really have no idea how this will play out. Make sure he knows you still love him. Remind him of the kids and how this will hurt them if you split up. Tell him he will suffer himself for the rest of his life thinking of what he did to the family. Do this with some level of gentleness.
Don't give up hope and don't accept blame for not wanting to go to counseling before. Things look differently at different times.
Remember that whether he knows it or not he is feeling a lot of guilt right now and let him know that you will accept him back whenever he is ready.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com