jealousy and friends
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
my bf and i have been datng for about two years. a while ago we moved in together. it was all going fine until recently. he gets upset over any of my friends coming over Male OR female. he shows it more in front of my guy friends. the last time i saw my male friends my bf walked into our house then just stormed back out.he didnt come back until he knew they were gone and this was not the first time. with my female friends he doesnt openly make as much of an issue but after they leave he goes on these long lectures on how i need to choose my friends better and always has something negative to say about them. most of the time he blames it on his love for me, wanting better for me, and so he can trust me. but i have not done ne thing to have him not trust me. now i get sick to my stomach just knowing that if some one is her im going to get a lecture. since that last couple of times i have had friends over and this has happened between me and my bf, i have learned to make sure that my friends are gone before he gets here. i just want to know what this exactly means, what i can say to get him to back off, and to get him not openly judge my friends or start in on me when they do leave. i just wanna make him happy but without sacrificing my friends and a life. what do i do?
He is trying to control you.
If you let him get away with this he will probably increase his controlling behavior. This is not a good thing.
He needs to develop more trust in you.
The way to deal with all of this is to have long, honest, and caring conversations about this problem. Tell him you are not going to give up your friends because of his jealousy.
This needs priority attention on your part or it's going to get worse.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com