Service Call for the Ex & Family?
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
My boyfriend and I are both in our young thirties. I am divorced (no children), he was engaged seven years ago, but broke it b/c his ex-fiancee didn't treat him well. They were together five years total, and broke up seven years ago, as I mentioned. We have been together 9 months, and pretty happy until this, which it is me who is unahappy and hiding it.............
She was his first true love, and he still mentions her at times- but in a negative light. She is "unhappily married" and calls him every so often, complaining of this. Recently, he opened his mail in front of me, and she had sent him a card. I didn't nag him about it, he said she sent it "out of no where". Then a week later, he tells me that her parents called him for help (remember, after 7 years of being apart) with their heating system. He owns a small Heating & A/C Company. Her husband is a Plumber, who works on Heating Systems as well???
Anyway, I know I can't, and I haven't jumped to conclusions-but I am so concerned now. This whole situation isn't sitting right with me. Why the need for a card and service call after 7 years apart? He told me she still professes her love, and wants him back so much.
I expressed my feelings only once. he asked me to trust him and said he would never go back to her. He said her parents helped him start his company when they were engaged, and he feels obligated to help them NOW. He pretty much told me like it or leave it.
I am jealous and hurt, although I have been strong and I have not brought it up since. I am suffering inside and resentful now.
Please comfort me, because he hasn't.........
RomanceClass.com Advice
You are going to have to trust him.
Trust is one of the most important parts of a relationship. Without trust, mountains get made out of molehills.
His story sounds reasonable to me and he promised not to go back to her... and he has seven years of being away from her. You are coming late onto the scene and you should put this all into a historical perspective paying attention to the seven years of separation. He apparently really doesn't like her.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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