Have I pushed her away?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Hey There. I wrote about a week ago, and thanks again to George for the advice, but I'm in another pickle.
I should have stated before that I was quite the jerk when I drank sometimes when I was around her, so much so that one night, I grabbed her arm and left a bruise and I don't remember doing it all. She's really shown incredible patience with me while I was overdrinking, but that moment really defined for myself that I had to get it under control, as I've never been a mean drinker, ever. I've worked on the drinking over past few months (read the book by 7 Weeks to Safe Social Drinking. Highly Recommended!) and it feels better to go out, have a couple drinks and remember what happened the next morning and not have anyone mad at you. Although, I still have the needy bug to work out.
I told George before that we were hanging out a few times after she asked for space, and everything was great. She said I was the love of her life, she didn't want a boyfriend, said we had a great shot at being together once her semester was over, etc. I did tend to call her a few times when she wouldn't answer and I think it ticked her off a little. And over the past couple of days, I'd call once and she wouldn't answer. It's like she's avoiding me.
It's all back and forth with her. One week, we're great, we'd call each other, hang out a little bit, stuff to just rebuild during the space. Now, it's been a few days and she hasn't responded to anything. I hate playing games, but I'm gonna find it in me not to call anymore and let her do it. But, is it too late? Have I pushed her too far away now? Should I go with my plan of moving across the country like I had mentioned before? Or will she call back? I know you're not a mind-reader, but, given a little exposition to the story, you might have a better answer. Thanks again!
She said that after the semester is over things would probably get better.
So, give her that short amount of time to sort out her life.
You probably haven't pushed her away too far, she is just letting you know that she needs her space right now.
It's a good idea to not call her and let her do the calling. When she does ask if you could call once a week for 15 mins to ask her how she is doing and also to let her know you still care. Be cheerful and don't dwell on your relationship.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com